F*ck You, Your Honor

“Counselor,” Judge Solomon scowled, “this book project is due in exactly one year. There will be no excuses, and no continuances will be granted. Not just any book. A book about the dignity and integrity of the legal system. At least sixty-five thousand words. Any questions?” Darwyn “Wyn” VanWye, attorney and real estate salesman, is in court for “conduct that interferes with the administration of justice” and is handed a very interesting and unusual sentence to atone for his delinquent alimony payments. Instead of being thankful to have avoided community service or possible jail time, VanWye is determined to find a way out of doing his penance.

F*ck You, Your Honor is a series of narratives and anecdotes about the law career and real estate dealings of VanWye, and musings about his personal and marital issues. Many of his activities could be said to stretch the limits of the law at times, both in real estate, court, and life in general, but he constantly finds ways to explain his ways through and around these actions. His dealings with his wife are comical and sad but honest. At one point, he disables her garage door, expecting her to call him to fix it, and is disappointed and confused when she doesn’t.

Just when you think this is a man who really should be punished for breaking laws, he shows you a kinder, more conscientious side. He believes in free first appointments for potential clients and even does pro bono work for his friends. There is more to him than even he realizes.

When he finally accepts the fact that he must complete this assignment to avoid losing his practice, what results is a book that is funny and poignant and does more than fulfilling the requirements of the sentence. One can’t help but cheer for VanWye!