Relationship Sanity: Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships

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This book, a sequel to Irrelationship: How We Use Dysfunctional Relationships to Hide From Intimacy, offers a series of instructive examples of real-life long-term couples who manage, despite their best intentions, to alienate each other. Part One pinpoints the many areas of miscommunication and self-deception that produce what the authors (following their first book) call “irrelationship,” including a harmful dynamic they call the “performer/audience” pattern. It then provides counter-strategies for “relationship sanity” that include “compassionate empathy” and a mode of relationship assessment called the “40-20-40” method (which is too complicated to explain here, and perhaps more trouble than it is worth). Part Two presents what is described as the “technique” for achieving “relationship sanity” in the form of the “DREAM sequence”: Discovery, Repair, Empowerment, Alternatives, and Mutuality, a series of concepts whose acronym-inspired sequence appears somewhat contrived, but is certainly comprehensive.

The book, while generally convincing, occasionally feels repetitive, and the many graphs and charts function as distractions from the central points the authors have to make. Fans of Irrelationship will no doubt appreciate this second in-depth take on the subject, but readers new to the authors’ ideas might do better to read the first book instead.

Reviewed By:

Author Mark B. Borg Jr. • Grant H. Brenner • Daniel Berry
Star Count 4/5
Format Trade
Page Count 264 pages
Publisher Central Recovery Press
Publish Date 2018-23-10
ISBN 9.78162E+12 Buy this Book
Issue April 2019
Category Relationships & Sex


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